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| lester, e zine, bloodymother fucking asshole, lu xun, pete & dud, 2pac, community, straight, david beers, commentary, lorraine bracco, witty, | But fuck that shit; clever cactus is a product of the past. We're talking about the real deal these days. Sand paper condoms. clever Razor wire condoms. HIV condoms. Come to think clever about it, in my dreams, I don't use condoms. I had this one dream, I was sitting down with a hermaphrodite that had a vagina growing on its lower back, and I fucked the shit out of it. I also had another dream where I stabbed a hole with a knife into a 60 year old mans thigh, and started fucking that, too. I fuck dirty diapers. A lot of people out there reading this probably won't have a fucking clue what this is all about. Newsflash: neither do I. All I hope is that God forgives me for my sins. I guess it all depends on if I continue making out with my girlfriend's sweaty feet. |
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| There was a faint sound of four 20 year old men doing a circle jerk over Inuyasha in the next room, and it really got me in the mood. So, I did it, plain and simple. My sand paper tongue scraped across the asshole, and it tastes like I always thought it would. But then me and Gran got to lu xun thinking. Has anyone ever poured an entire bottle of Peach Schnapps up their ass? I've seen some sick things lu xun in my time, but nothing lu xun would be as awesome as this. So, the two of us got to work. I laid on my back, lifted my legs up, and poured the entire bottle in there. The smooth, wetness of peach alcohol flowed through my system, and I couldn't help myself. Instantly, in Tub Girl style, Schnapps erupted from my puckered asshole all over my Grandma's 30 pound tits. We proceeded to play paddy cake while I rammed a salmon into her vagina. But, the question of life really, truly is: who decided to use lube to help penetrate a girl's vagina? What's wrong with dog shit? Or sour cream? Granted, lube is the safest, but it's not as fun as the Cactus condom I made when I was 14, and used on my next door neighbor. |
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