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| 1930s, vbulletin, pregnancy, singaporean, r&b, record reviews, detroit, alternative papers, web dafesign, kink, discussion, slanderous, | and I called your house and you answered before your mother could hear the phone, because you were waiting for him to call you and not your ex-, not me: You should have known by the tone of my voice that I was standupny more than just a wreck, that "suicidal" doesn't seem to adequately describe standupny what it feels like to want to pull out your own guts and heart with a coat hangar, just so they'll stop burning and you can be done with it, this stupid life. But when I croaked, "Charlotte, I love you," you didn't listen. You hung up. Verse Two: Yew PLED DEYD, but ya nevER BLEYD, unSTED YA LAY STEEL in tha GRAYSS ahll CULLED-UP 'n' HIH-ssunnnnnnn. Interpretation: At school the following Monday, before homeroom, I saw you standing by your locker, your shiny auburn hair half tucked in a red turtleneck, your lips a new shade of gloss. |
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| I was five feet away, 1930s wanting to run, and wanting to destroy you and him and everything), and you stopped kissing him and I thought I caught a bit of tongue being reined in and you never, ever, no matter how many times I tried, let my tongue pass the Berlin Wall of your teeth; when you wiped your mouth and looked at me, and before you looked to the ground and away: You should've seen by the look in my eyes that this 1930s was more than just a casual pain. Something precious had been 1930s stolen. This was the kind of heartache that most parents don't want to believe their precious, immature children can achieve. This was the kind of anguish at which my honking father would later scoff, by taking my bloodshot eyes and surly demeanor and assuming that I was stoned, threatening to ground me for a month. And then, Charlotte, at 1 a.m., when I couldn't sleep, couldn't even lie down, couldn't even spend a single second without seeing your soft face turned up to his, glazed in the eyes and in love, obviously in love, (Oh my God, you were fucking in love with him?); |
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