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| rock concert, av club, lester bangs, opera, don dunphy, goldie lookin chain your mother's got a penis letras, sincity, freeblog templates, alternative, bangs, doctor, aim, visual art, blogging, peruvian, | With all these posts full of random digi-cam pics, and the boy with his wonderful camera, I feel so out of the loop. spadina So, I decided to bring my camera phone into action: more » @ 10:19 pm on March 15th, 2006 Vanity | 16 spadina CMNTS Backed-Up I hate the fact that I read people’s words and feel intimidated belittled intimidated by them. I always wanted to consider myself a “good” writer. I didn’t even have to be “great.” Good spadina was enough for me. I used to write so often. I had aspirations. Goals. I had dreams. I don’t know what got to me. I started to blame it on The Ex after I had realized how emotionally unstable he had made me, but I think that’s wrong of me. I shouldn’t blame my own digression on him. It wasn’t his fault that I let his words get to me. He always used to tell me that it was a waste of time if I wasn’t getting paid for it. I think somewhere along the line I started to believe it myself. |
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| For some reason, I have av club such difficulty being able to accept who I am. Hell, I have a hard time being able to find out who I am. I keep changing, and av club I realize that is a part of life - but it seems as though I’m not even able to sit still for two seconds to try and figure myself out. Today av club I was depressed, and I realized after I had gone out and bought some new clothes (such girl-therapy, I know) why I was feeling so down. Everytime I start getting closer to what I feel is truly “me,” it never truly “fits.” It’s like I’m wearing these skins that I’m trying to discover myself in, and each one I try on feels right at first, but then I realize that it just doesn’t fit right. Not quite the right size… A little too worn around the edges… A little too harsh. And it frustrates the hell out of me. My only hope is that I just keep looking until I find something that is the right size. In other news, I’ve been craving a digital camera again. |
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