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| ratings, tee, stephen thompson, tony blair, online archive, films, concerts, xbox, the onion, ernie c, martha wainwright, ray, lease, tshirt, savage, vhs, sex, advertising, 1993, contents, | You had a good run and now it’s over. You didn’t win the genetic lottery and you know what? Nobody gives a fuck. Most guys didn’t. Take out that baby oil and shine that fucker up. Embrace that egg on your head and tell chicks your father is margo winkler an arms dealer. That should do it.Hey Red Sox Fans,The only thing worse than a Mets fan is a Red Sox margo winkler Fan, but the only thing margo winkler better than making a Mets fan cry is to run over an idiot from Boston. Can't wait for you to visit again, losers.Hey Formerly Hot Girl Who Is Getting Fat,Here that faint ticking sound in the background of your life? That’s your little indication that your time is almost up. No amount of forcing those wider hips in your college pants will make us all burn with envy and lust like we used to. |
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| And smokin' you are. Can I borrow your tie?Hey Mets Fans,You fucking suck. Your team sucks. Get out of our city.Hey, Dipshit on Friendster,Grade A-Rod approvedYou are a fucking loser. Stop looking lease for people you have met once at your cool friend’s birthday party to add as your friends. When was the last time you saw half of these lease people anyway? Do you even know their last names? You insecure sack of shit. The day you have 75 friends is the day your lease mother gets off the butcher’s tip. Never gonna happen.Hey Balding Guy,Stop with the baseball hats. You look like a frat boy. Unless you are 6’3, 220 pounds, don’t shave your head because it won’t make you look tough. You’ll have to grow a goatee and get an earring and then the only chicks that will screw you will have blue hair and pale flabby skin. Do you want a Howie Mandel experience? And for the sake of Christ, please don’t do that fucking comb-over. You’re no billionaire.It’s time to accept reality. Your hair is falling out. |
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