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| post communism, gift set, columns, newspaper, wordssong lyrics the game black wall street charge it to the game (2005), max yield, standby me, orange county, free porn, kids jokes, | And I came to grips with her, and the feelings I held in regards to her since I was a child. All my life I called her safe Mother, and I suppose she was in many respects, and I cared for her, and at times when she was mentally healthy, I loved her, but safe my real mother died when I was 5 years old, but was she really a mother? Or an egg donor? Fuck, I get so confused. To be frank, as much as it saddens me (sometimes) they are both gone, I am better off without them. I think I never really had a real mother at all. What a brat I am. I am not saying any of this for your pity, or because I want anything remotely close to that. Simply because I wish to share who I am so that maybe somehow, you can relate to me. So that you can, without knowing me, know how much I care about you, without me having even met you. |
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| Anyhow, I got post communism there, met my father and his best friend in her room, the room where my mother died. The curtain was drawn, and dad got up, and he began to pull the curtain back. I thought "My God, no, I do NOT want to see her dead body." But I had to, because he expected me to do it. And there she (or it) was, post communism the tips of her fingers a strange shade of purple, and a most creepy foul smell filled my nose. Her mouth post communism was gaping open, her face wore no expression and her skin looked like wax. And it was then I realized that wasn't my mother. That deceased person in that bed was just a vessel, but it sure as hell was NOT my mother. All I could think was one word. Corpse. After this day, I came to grips with my past. |
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