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| metrotimes, election central, pathetic geek stories, running, bc politics, contests, offensive, london, lust, webcam, clever, chat, scat, magnolia, comic strip live, tshirthell.com, travel, weezer, bc media, estrogen, enlightenedtheme for wordpress, pot, previews, velvet acid christ music song lyrics, | We're talking about the real deal these days. Sand paper condoms. french/appendices Razor wire condoms. HIV condoms. Come to think about it, in my french/appendices dreams, I don't use condoms. I had this one dream, I was sitting down with a hermaphrodite that had a vagina growing on its lower back, and I fucked the shit out of it. I also had another french/appendices dream where I stabbed a hole with a knife into a 60 year old mans thigh, and started fucking that, too. I fuck dirty diapers. A lot of people out there reading this probably won't have a fucking clue what this is all about. Newsflash: neither do I. All I hope is that God forgives me for my sins. I guess it all depends on if I continue making out with my girlfriend's sweaty feet. |
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| So, I did it, plain and simple. My sand paper tongue scraped across the asshole, and it tastes like I always thought it would. But then me and Gran got to thinking. Has anyone ever poured an entire london bottle of Peach Schnapps up their ass? I've seen some sick things in my time, but nothing would be as awesome as this. So, the london two of us got to work. I laid on my back, lifted my legs up, and poured the entire bottle in there. The smooth, wetness of peach alcohol flowed through my system, and I london couldn't help myself. Instantly, in Tub Girl style, Schnapps erupted from my puckered asshole all over my Grandma's 30 pound tits. We proceeded to play paddy cake while I rammed a salmon into her vagina. But, the question of life really, truly is: who decided to use lube to help penetrate a girl's vagina? What's wrong with dog shit? Or sour cream? Granted, lube is the safest, but it's not as fun as the Cactus condom I made when I was 14, and used on my next door neighbor. But fuck that shit; cactus is a product of the past. |
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