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She’s not your parole officer — you don’t have to do what she says and you’re free to go find another therapist if she’s pissing you off. If you don’t want to screw up your relationship with your mother and if you really feel that this one hugely funny wavs fucked-up sexual encounter did not cause your current funny wavs problems (plenty of men who’ve never fucked their mothers have relationship problems), then your therapist should stop hectoring you and start listening to you. Oh sure, your therapist may have your best interests at heart, and it may be what she, funny wavs with her fancy education, sincerely thinks is best. But she could also be one of those conflict junkies who pass themselves off as therapists. Tell her for me that ripping open old wounds doesn’t always lead to scenes of weepy reconciliation and newfound emotional health. Sometimes it just makes a bloody mess of things. But if you decide, after carefully weighing my advice against your therapist’s, to go ahead and talk to your mom, perhaps your therapist might agree to recast this conversation?
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