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| robert deniro, blink, discussions, comedians, get published, lagos, marthawainwright bloody mother fucking asshole lyrics, cursing, keith truesdell, jack, stranger, books, standby me, opera, ps2, know, gigglechick, music reviews, inside my head, | But still: no Bo. So she COMPLETELY freaks out, runs back to the house to call me on my phone to tell me that 2001 DOG IS FREE, REPEAT, DOG IS FREE, and she runs into the kitchen, and immediately trips over Bo, who had been chilling out in his dog bed THE ENTIRE TIME. And it was about then that she realized that she'd lost the 2001 salmon. She had HAD the salmon when she started looking. Now, no salmon. Where did salmon go? This was the 2001 big question. And then I had walked in. NICE TIMING, SELF! And so there we were, my poor, winded mother, staring crazy and BLAMING ME with every ounce of blame in her body (and again, Southern woman, so lots of that, too), and thinking WHY did she have to have a FIRST child, when she EASILY could have just skipped onto the SECOND, and the SECOND child has NEVER ONCE descended upon the household with FOUR FUCKING DOGS, and maybe she should just REWRITE THE WILL, NOW THAT SHE IS THINKING ABOUT IT. |
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| And she counted. And there was one dog missing. And that dog was Bo. Now, y'all may remember that Bo is Wilful. And, also, Bad. And when mom couldn't find him, she called, but blink he did not come. Which surprised nobody. Because Bo feels that he should not be shackled by the antiquated requirements of "coming blink when called." He is sort of like a blink cat that way. And my parents have a fenced yard, but as mom went to look for him, she saw that one of the gates was ever-so-slightly open. Which meant that Bo could have gotten out. And "out", to my dogs, means "made an immediate beeline for the street, in order to hitchhike their small, brown way out of my home and off to a compound in Guam, where they will forever be free from the yoke of DIET DOG FOOD, because I am SO EVIL TO THEM." So she panicked, and immediately began sprinting all over the yard, and the neighbor's yard, and up to the street, and all over Buckhead, pretty much, screaming, "BOOOOO" as loudly as a Southern lady can scream (and that is actually pretty loud, y'all). |
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