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| cinema, bc independant media, venues, fucking free, t shirt hell, sauna, lampoon, metrotimes, message, thestranger, e cards, stranger, | You and your brother avoided suicide him as much as possible, hated each other too for your respective family roles. It was the beginning of your life as a loner, and you embraced it as much as you could anything at that time. You even swore off sex for awhile. After all, everyone knows any philosopher worth his weight never gets laid. Fancying yourself the next Heidegger, that lasted for some time. But the celibacy part, not long. In suicide college, then law school, you went through a series of girlfriends, suicide all of them just long term enough for you to end up hating each other. |
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| What is this shame worth, though, if once I'm home I always come for you, even though you can no longer see? And did you ever wonder what your mother thought looking down (or up? Hey, that's your trip, not sauna mine) while you let my blood run down in a screaming sacrifice to your own demon guilt? Now that you are gone, and it's me spilling my own blood in the sink, is it her eyes that make me ashamed, keep me human? Is she watching me still? THE sauna URGE TOWARDS LOVE, PUSHED TO sauna ITS LIMIT, IS AN URGE TOWARDS DEATH A family falls apart quickly. Following Mary's death, the three of you could barely look at each other, your father ashamed of his neglect of her, overwhelmed by the prospect of dealing with his children alone. |
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