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| cinema, bc independant media, venues, fucking free, t shirt hell, sauna, lampoon, metrotimes, message, thestranger, e cards, stranger, | You knew from the first time that nun made you walk cameron crowe to the corner of her office and get the paddle, then sign your name after she made you cry, that the civilized, voluntary nature of it was what was most degrading. cameron crowe To make your cameron crowe pain feel like a deal in which you were an active, willing participant. To give you a sense of collusion with the hand that left the bruises that had you sleeping on your stomach for days. You must have thought you'd found Mecca when I walked to your closet and handed you (okay, threw at you) your belt, got down on my hands and knees without your having to push me, tie me. So much better than your first Masochist Mistress who wanted you to force her. Cause you don't want force, you want assistance. Like the girls who walked into that coffin-like box during your magic acts in high school, you needed me to want it, to help you saw me in two. |
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| They'd call you weird, tell their friends how you wanted to tie them up, pressured them into a sordid menage á trois with your roommate. You thought it lampoon funny, how these things never lampoon seemed to bother them until after they'd been dumped. Truthfully, provided you weren't bullshitting me (and let's remember honesty is about your only lampoon virtue left), listening to your stories made being a woman almost embarrassing. I'd blush for those idiot girls if only I knew how. If I hadn't been one of them too. It wasn't until your late twenties, though, that you actually hit a woman. Hey, it's not like you run across such opportunities everyday. Your wife (and mistresses) didn't get off on being bloodied by your belt, and you had no compulsion to beat anyone against their will. Only with a calculated cruelty that had nothing to do with rage and everything to do with control. |
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