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| laugh, my girlfriend, king, uruguayan, serbia, dave dimartino, panamanian, standupny, almost famous, female comics, | ABRACADABRA!... FUCK, YOU'RE STILL UGLY Well, that didn’t work. I guess I’ll have to saw you in half. Who said anything about a trick? OPRAH RECOMMENDS MY DICK I am so honored that Oprah would select my dick for her prestigious list. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that her work in The Color Purple is just as impressive. WHO NEEDS BIG joe pesci TITS? WHEN YOU HAVE AN ASS LIKE THIS I couldn't poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut. I joe pesci never saw you, but you violated me, you bastard joe pesci jellyfish. BAAAAAA MEANS NOOOOO! You always hurt the one ewe that you love, unless you use ewes that use lube. COULD YOU COME BACK IN A FEW BEERS? What you might call skunked beer due to lack of knowledge could be a tasty German-style Pilsner to another. Or it could be piss. TOM IS MY ONLY FRIEND The rest of my top 8 is a mixture of alcohol, anti-depressants and internet porn. |
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| I TAKE THE "THE" OUT OF PSYCHOTHERAPIST A shirt made specifically for all the psycho rapists out there. Which excludes me, because I'm a level-headed, rational rapist. I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS It's time to sit down and declare your support for laugh single moms. Won't you lend a lap? WHITE FLOUR! laugh Nuthin' says lovin' like being shoved in an oven!" He laugh got poked in the stomach one too many times, which is exactly how Hitler got started. I'M THE ONE YOU GOTTA BLOW TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE You know what? I'm a pretty generous person. I'll go ahead and get you two drinks. Three if you promise not to call. FUCK CHUCK Chuck Mania is sweeping the nation. Fuck the nation. HOPELESS ROMANTIC SEEKS FILTHY WHORE And if the hopeless romantic's search is successful, he will soon after begin his search for ointments, antibiotics and a rare shampoo that comes with a very little comb. |
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