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| homepage, careers, fiction, earn commission, t shirts, wordpress 1.5, list of proverbs, inside my head, usertalk:24.147.248.130, guestbook, kinky, video, london, | And I was afraid. But she pointed at me, shorts and the following occurred: Mom: shorts WHERE IS THE SALMON. Self: I don't...know? Salmon? Mom: FIND. THE FUCKING. SALMON. Self: Right. Where, um...where might it be? Mom: IT COULD BE ANYWHERE. THE STREET. OR THE YARD. Self: The salmon may be in the...yard. Mom: OR IT shorts COULD BE IN THE CLOSET. Self: Why in the HELL would the salmon be in the closet? Mom: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. Self: But I just GOT here! Mom: FIND! THE! FUCKING! SALMON! Self: OKAY! FINE. Mom: LOOK IN THE GARDEN. We eventually found the salmon. It was sitting on the front steps. NATURALLY. |
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| She had HAD the salmon when she started looking. Now, no salmon. Where did salmon go? This was the inside my head big question. And then I had walked in. NICE TIMING, SELF! And so there we were, my poor, winded mother, staring crazy and BLAMING ME with every ounce of blame in her body (and again, Southern woman, so lots of that, too), and thinking WHY did she have to inside my head have a FIRST child, when she EASILY could have just skipped onto the SECOND, and the SECOND child has NEVER ONCE descended upon the household with FOUR FUCKING DOGS, inside my head and maybe she should just REWRITE THE WILL, NOW THAT SHE IS THINKING ABOUT IT. But I didn't know any of this yet. All I knew was that I had walked in and found my mother screaming about salmon. |
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