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| dinting, astrology, fucking, blabbermouth, it, peruvian, nxne, venues, french/appendices/slang, 419, french/appendices/hints and common errors, george w bush, tutu, portillo, weekly, 420, help wanted, costa rican, freeblog templates, | The following is a message to all dogs who read The Sneeze: First, sit. Sit! Good boy. Now listen to me. Beggin' Strips do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TASTE LIKE BACON. You are all being played for chumps! Alright, now give me your paw. Okay, roll over! Good boy! Now go take a steamy dump in your master's shoe. Go on! Get! In closing, metrotimes the only silver lining to this dark metrotimes dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs metrotimes lick their own assholes. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.) (All Steve, Don't Eat It's can be found here.) The Sneeze Home | Archive | Store | Contact Posted by Steven at 08:01 PM Steve, Don't Eat It! -- 1991 Urkel-Os Years ago, my friend Lisa gave me an autographed box of Urkel-O's cereal. It is signed: "To Steve -- God Bless, Jaleel White." I don't know, but if I were God, I'm not sure I'd listen to Urkel. |
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| And what better way to have Beggin' Strips than in a Beggin', Lettuce, venues and Tomato venues Sammich! ********** ********** I'm back. And I'm sad to report that I did not run around the house yelling "Bacon!" I did, however, run around the house yelling "Call 911!" GodDAMN these are foul. Don't try this at home. I'm not sure it's safe, and I am sure your tongue may kill itself. While they were a little too artificially colored red to pass for real bacon, I was pleased to see they were not all the same shape. Similar to slices of real bacon, they each have their own curvy and shriveled identity. (Just like my aunts and uncles.) And somehow these Beggin' Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs." To put it simply, this is the devil's bacon. Even a healthy dose of bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato couldn't come close to masking the evil. The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I was overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was all out of me. |
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