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dogbomb, standby me, american beauty, dvd, pacific northwest, arab, the onion, ming dynasty, your, list of proverbs, central and eastern europe, parade, t shirts from hell, | I don't know what it is I did to you, but you have gotten me back and we're even. I knew I was in trouble as soon as I opened the jar, and heard no music reviews reassuring vacuum seal. I must admit that made me nervous, but what are the odds of a dusty jar of warm pig skin going bad, right? Lifting the lid revealed a weird sour smell, something akin to mild vinegar and stale meat. I almost want to music reviews say it was like a freshly douched pork chop. music reviews But I won't. Why? Because I'm a fucking gentleman. As I attempted to fish out a "good one," I couldn't help notice the alarming skin texture. For all those times I wondered what it would be like to gnaw on my grandmother's thigh, I was about to find out. Taking a bite, I quickly realized the swatch of fat wasn't chewy at all. In fact, it was eerily soft, not unlike my own swatches of fat. |
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These are not the crunchy pork rinds you'll often see over by the chips. These are their grosser, soggier, potentially botulism-ier cousins. The label says "Ready to Eat." They left off "By Dumb-Asses." There is also a red starburst proudly proclaiming "Nuevo Envase de Vidrio Reusable". Not knowing much Spanish, I could only assume that meant "Oh Crap -- A Jar of Skin!" I was wrong. It means: t shirts from hell "New Reusable Glass Container" t shirts from hell which I think is their subtle way of saying you can also use the jar to puke in. Okay. I'm going to go consume. If I t shirts from hell don't make it back to finish this review, tell my wife I love her. And not to eat the pork rinds. ****** ****** I'm back. First off, I would like to say to Dolores, I am sorry. |
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