DEREK: ..... on his sports lease
lease, tourism, connections, restaurants, girls, georgia strait movie listings, tom green, frank vincent, mgm (video & dvd), bloodymother fucking asshole, opera, profanity, laughter, adult, stand up, bulletinboard, family fun, robert de niro, pride, fuckwikipedia encyclopedia reference, television, uruguayan, open mike, CLIVE: ..... before you set yourself on sports fire with a nightie! DEREK: Right! CLIVE: And he set fire to me and the nightie and said, "Fuckin'", and I sports said, "Fuck, you cunt", and d'you know what I did? DEREK: What? CLIVE: I ..... I felt very, very ill. DEREK: Well you're bou-, after, after that? CLIVE: Being burned ..... DEREK: After him coming in and saying he's going sports to set fire to your nightie? CLIVE: I was burned to death. DEREK: Ohhh, fucking hell ..... CLIVE: But after that, after that, Uncle ..... DEREK: ..... why'd you let him do that? CLIVE: No! After that, Uncle Bert took me down the pub ..... DEREK: Yeah. CLIVE: ..... and said, "Clive, ..... DEREK: Yeah. CLIVE: ..... from being nearly dead you have learned how to be alive." DEREK: Ohhh. CLIVE: And I kicked him in the fucking teeth and I never seen o' the cunt again.
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DEREK: ..... on his arsehole! CLIVE: Arsehole all erect? DEREK: Right! And he cums through his arsehole. CLIVE: Oh gawd! DEREK: It's the most amazing sight. Course, he never forgives me, but I said, "Listen Bert", I said, "fuck me", I said, "if I hadn't lease stuck that fucking head on, mate", I said, "you wouldn't have had it on the right way round or the lease wrong way round." CLIVE: That's it! Well, well, I've got that ..... DEREK: Fucking ingratitude, mate! CLIVE: I've got, I've got, I've got an Uncle Bert and he's worse! D'you know what he did to me? He come up to me in the middle of the night and said, "Look, I'd like to take your nightie and set it on fire." I said, "Fuck you, you're not going to take my nightie and set it on fire, you'll take me! And set me on fire ..... DEREK: And set it on fire, right!
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