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| ontario, tv, media, girlfriend, tv shows, fiction, comments, how i met your mother tv show, lyrics, best in show, 20jazzfunkgreats, wikipedia, humor, songs, cursing, personal, | I must admit that made me nervous, but what are the odds of a dusty jar of warm pig skin going bad, right? Lifting the lid revealed a weird sour smell, something akin to mild vinegar east central europe and stale meat. I almost want to say it was like a freshly east central europe douched pork chop. But I won't. Why? Because I'm a fucking gentleman. As I attempted to fish out a "good east central europe one," I couldn't help notice the alarming skin texture. For all those times I wondered what it would be like to gnaw on my grandmother's thigh, I was about to find out. Taking a bite, I quickly realized the swatch of fat wasn't chewy at all. In fact, it was eerily soft, not unlike my own swatches of fat. |
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| The label says "Ready to Eat." They left off "By Dumb-Asses." There is also a red starburst proudly proclaiming cursing "Nuevo Envase de Vidrio Reusable". Not knowing much Spanish, I could cursing only assume that meant "Oh Crap -- A Jar of Skin!" cursing I was wrong. It means: "New Reusable Glass Container" which I think is their subtle way of saying you can also use the jar to puke in. Okay. I'm going to go consume. If I don't make it back to finish this review, tell my wife I love her. And not to eat the pork rinds. ****** ****** I'm back. First off, I would like to say to Dolores, I am sorry. I don't know what it is I did to you, but you have gotten me back and we're even. I knew I was in trouble as soon as I opened the jar, and heard no reassuring vacuum seal. |
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