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He consistently refused shaving devices; he achieved five-minute-long blank stares; he drank 12-packs every jack off night and forgot about work the next day. This, over a woman to whom he rarely uttered a passionate word. Fine, fine. And so I didn't tell him, and the whole weekend he thought his 12-year-old son was on heroin, but it was worse. All I could think about was you, my jack off private heroin -- -- so when I saw you at the locker, glossy-auburn-stained was I. I had it all worked out in my head. I'd say I'm sorry and make jack off a joke, and you'd crack a smile and let me back in and then I'd get the details of your night with Chris and I'd play it off like it was no big deal and I'd pretend I couldn't care less and you'd see you didn't have total control of me, that I wasn't weak, that I was very strong, and you'd come back to me.
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