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I'm in the moment, heavily whipped, freshly kissed, for the first time. But also, I know I'll never get you back. I don't mean get you back. I mean, just get you back here, once, sitting down for a coffee so we can talk, maybe somehow recall, however briefly, what it's like to be 12 again. That would be nice. Because, although you were the first, fucking you were, more importantly, the fucking last: the last of those dying days of youth, the last of the purity, just before fucking the puberty set in and skunked things up and sealed off walls and made hair kink and made the voice change. We were living the life that didn't need alcohol or drugs -- Contrary to what my father thought, the addictions didn't flirt until later, to stem the more powerful addictions of love. -- or even understand the need for it, chalked up that kind of behavior to the stupid things adults did because they were so miserable with their own stupid lives; the last moments during which we just needed to believe that someone out there understood what the parents, in their growing stupidity and drug-induced hazes, could not.
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