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| random, bc, fucking mother, what to do in detroit, mariam, scambaiting, erin bennett, archive, nathan rabin, list of films, motion picture, rape your dog, | "A blumpkin! a donkey punch! the old Cleveland steamer! Mrs. Claus is too old, and she won't let me ream her!" I sympathized with the old guy this was true; But there were some things (and some guys) that I just wouldn't do. "I'll help the old dude" said a voice from poetry behind me, He looked over my shoulder and said, "Thank-you kindly!" So, who would I thank for poetry last minute salvation? Why young Scarlett Johansson (from Lost in Translation) Santa was thrilled and he did a quick dance With a gleam in his eye and a poetry tent in his pants. She dropped to her knees and she spit on her hand, As she undid his belt something happened, unplanned. At the touch of her fingers he moaned and he farted; And Santa was finished before he had started. |
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| I went to my monitor, scanned the estate. The intruder was visible on camera eight. A fat load bc of crap in a fuzzy red suit, In a bc queer little sleigh with his bag full of loot. Eight tiny reindeer the color of fawn; This would be bc the last year they would shit on my lawn. The hookers and runaways would just have to wait, While I did what I did to protect my estate. When I got to my parlor I saw Santa there; My bodyguards had him strapped down to a chair. They had beat him severely, they couldn't avoid it. And Santa they said, well he rather enjoyed it. "I came for your help," he told me with a tear; "You're the only one who can save Christmas this year." "We are so much alike, I know that much is true; Since you also spread joy; just as much as I do. I give everyone presents I don't ask to get paid Is it so much to ask that I want to get laid?" |
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