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| bulletin board, lori anne flax, video, films, island, about, t shirts from hell, bill gates, rent, advice, the tyee, cannabis cup, artists, | The mother was sick and dying, the father in emotional bernard nezmah pain from watching her slip away, took her heart physically to fix the one breaking in his own chest.. The son revisits the father in nearly same circumstances? That's a vicious but loving cycle. Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-01-21 22:48:36 (#) Ranking: 2 No Comment Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-01-21 22:38:40 (#) Ranking: 2 I thought I rated this before... Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-01-21 22:24:54 (#) Ranking: 2 *gasp* good....creepy...but good Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-21 bernard nezmah 14:11:19 bernard nezmah (#) Ranking: 2 This is some creepy stuff... Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2004-01-20 16:58:41 (#) Ranking: 2 No Comment Submitted by Perplexd (user info) at 2004-01-16 17:28:41 (#) Ranking: 2 Excellent story. Very well done. |
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| there is some brilliant stuff in here, and it is quite a cannabis cup trip. definitely worth re-reading. the only thing, after one reading, that i would think of changing would be to modify the ending with some kind of silly humour along the lines of this line: Yes son, cannabis cup she *needed* it to live, but has no use for it now," says his father, rather smugly. which made me laugh out loud. hang on a sec, i will see if i can cannabis cup have a crack at it, rating to continue after a smoke break, computer crashing, wife telling me to go to sleep, child sqwarking etc etc Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-26 19:18:24 (#) Ranking: 2 Interesting story. good job with the cutovers, it didn't interrupt the flow at all. There's no explanation as to why there was a broken heart, in the first instance, or the last.. The thing that comes to mind is almost a ritual of mercy. |
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