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CLIVE: That's it! Well, alternative well, I've got that ..... DEREK: Fucking ingratitude, mate! CLIVE: I've got, I've got, I've got an Uncle Bert and he's worse! D'you know what he did to me? He come up to me in the middle of the night and said, "Look, I'd like to take your nightie and set alternative it on fire." I said, "Fuck you, you're not going to take my nightie and set it on fire, you'll take me! And set me on fire ..... DEREK: And set it on fire, alternative right! CLIVE: ..... before you set yourself on fire with a nightie! DEREK: Right! CLIVE: And he set fire to me and the nightie and said, "Fuckin'", and I said, "Fuck, you cunt", and d'you know what I did? DEREK: What? CLIVE: I ..... I felt very, very ill. DEREK: Well you're bou-, after, after that? CLIVE: Being burned ..... DEREK: After him coming in and saying he's going to set fire to your nightie?
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