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I promise never to lie to you purely to make you feel good poetry about yourself for the next fifteen minutes, only to increase your neurotic dependence on poetry my faking of reality just so you can avoid doing a single fucking jumping jack. I swear that if your mother ever, and I mean ever, complains about the way I treat you, how much money poetry I make, or why I don't go to church, I will say something that makes her turn red, collapse, or run for her fucking life. I swear that I will never let you talk me into naming our kids anything that will get them torn a new asshole during recess. I promise to have a life outside of you, work late, hang out with other women, watch football on Sundays, drink too much, and yes, occasionally express my true feelings about how fucking boring it is to shop for duvet covers three weekends in a row when frankly, I don't give a shit what color the flowers are on that French blanket piece of shit when all I really want to do is throw you down on top of it and fuck your fucking brains out.
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