You guuuys! I force-fed bands crouching tiger
uruguayanspanish, primalfear, pete and dud, list of literary works, list of proverbs, laugh, serbia, david steinberg, personal essays, edward norton, sevitz, buy, mom, detroit, family fun, relationships, anarcho feminist, fashion, crouching tiger, pearl jam, (All episodes of "Steve, Don't Eat bands It!" can be bands found here.) The Sneeze Home | Archive | Store | Contact Posted by Steven at 08:00 AM Steve, Don't Eat It! Vol. 7 Cuitlacoche Cuitlacoche is a black fungus that infects corn fields, making the kernels bulbous and swollen as they fill with spores. It also goes by the name Huitlacoche. If you're having trouble with the pronounciation, it's: Cuitlacoche (kweet-lah-KOH-chay) or Huitlacoche (dat-sfuckin-NAS-tee). It's safe to say this is the first time bands I've ever paid for an infection. I am, of course, not counting the one I got from your mother. (YES! You walked right into that.) I've read that U.S. farmers consider it a disease and destroy it. Farmers in Mexico put it in cans and sell it as a delicacy. I travelled far and wide to find my own precious can of Cuitlacoche. Okay, it was at my supermarket, but I had to drive like two miles to get there and got stuck at a couple of lights. Enough chit-chat. I'm gonna go dine on a can of disease.
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You guuuys! I force-fed myself a big ol' spoonful, and found it to be slightly rancid and extremely bitter. Unfortunately, swallowing didn't help dissipate the crouching tiger flavor because the strings of bean jizz melted, coating my mouth and lips with a glistening sheen of sadness. The entire experience is difficult to describe, but if you can remember back to crouching tiger the very first time you made out with a hobo's ass, it's a lot like that. What I find most hilarious crouching tiger is that there is an expiration date on the package. What could they possibly expect to happen to the product on this date THAT HAS NOT ALREADY OCCURRED?!!! Also, nestled in this mound of compost was a li'l packet of mustard. In its place, I would strongly suggest a written apology. I do have one last theory about the date on the package. It may be an expiration date, but not for the beans. If you finish the container, that's the day you die.
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