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| witty, bloody mother fucking asshole, record reviews, comics, actresses, downloads, films that time forgot, high times, stores, yield, e cards, paul sorvino, blink 182, tour dates, beatmaster v, comedy clubs, | Huh? I've had... I've had fresh *apples*. Never had a fresh *grape*. Never... had a fresh *cherry*. Never had a fresh *pear*. Never *seen* a pear. Never saw a great pear outside of a fruit stand. Larry David: [to Cheryl, while they are sitting, waiting for the Dansons to call] They could at least lie to us. You know, call us and lie! We don't want to sit here like schmucks. A lie is a gesture, it's a great courtesy, it's a little respect. This is very disrespectful. Larry David: This is great called a Swiss Army Knife. Do you know what Switzerland is? Tara Michaelson: No, what's that? Larry David: Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. |
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| He can't see, and you have intimacy problems. You guys have downloads a downloads lot in common, don't ya? Larry David: I pee sitting down. Jeff Greene: You pee sitting down? Larry David: Yeah! Have you ever tried it? Jeff Greene: No! Larry David: It's more comfortable. When you get up during the night you don't have to turn on the light and wake up, and you get to read. Jeff Greene: What are you reading? Larry David: I'm reading a lot of stuff. Jeff Greene: What stuff? Larry David: If I peed twenty times during downloads a day I can get through a whole New York Times for god's sake! Jeff Greene: Twenty times? Larry David: Yeah! Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe, I'm learnin' somethin'! Jeff Greene: What makes you think I'm peeing all over my shoe while you're learnin' somethin'? Larry: He insulted me. He implied that I was lying about my stepfather! Jeff Greene: You don't have a stepfather. Larry: I know, but I didn't like the implication! Larry: [Larry is making small talk during a long, boring car ride with Cheryl] You ever had a fresh grape? |
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