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| witty, bloody mother fucking asshole, record reviews, comics, actresses, downloads, films that time forgot, high times, stores, yield, e cards, paul sorvino, blink 182, tour dates, beatmaster v, comedy clubs, | I used to write so often. I had aspirations. Goals. I had dreams. I don’t know what got to me. classifieds I started to blame it on The Ex after I had realized how emotionally unstable classifieds he had made me, but I think that’s wrong of me. I shouldn’t blame my own digression on him. It wasn’t his fault that I let his words get to me. He always used to tell me that it was a waste of time if I wasn’t classifieds getting paid for it. I think somewhere along the line I started to believe it myself. I read the words of people who I respect, I’ve come to care about, I have interest in… And I feel so inadequate as a writer. I suppose I don’t even consider myself such anymore. I don’t feel creative enough. Intelligent enough to be someone who has something worth reading. Even down to the simple fact that I read things and think to myself, “I wouldn’t even have thought to use these words… I don’t have that kind of vocabulary to sound so eloquent.” |
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| It’s like I’m wearing these skins that I’m trying to discover myself beatmaster v in, and each one I try on feels right at first, but beatmaster v then I realize that it just doesn’t fit right. Not quite the right size… A little too worn around the edges… A little too harsh. And it frustrates the hell out of me. My only beatmaster v hope is that I just keep looking until I find something that is the right size. In other news, I’ve been craving a digital camera again. With all these posts full of random digi-cam pics, and the boy with his wonderful camera, I feel so out of the loop. So, I decided to bring my camera phone into action: more » @ 10:19 pm on March 15th, 2006 Vanity | 16 CMNTS Backed-Up I hate the fact that I read people’s words and feel intimidated belittled intimidated by them. I always wanted to consider myself a “good” writer. I didn’t even have to be “great.” Good was enough for me. |
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